When I think about energy, I’m reminded of it’s first definition I learned: that “thing” that creates work. Yes, the definition is simple, but in my defense, I learned it in grade school. Lately, me working means I’m remembering my meds, staying awake during the day for more than 3 hours at a time, and at times, wanting to leave the house! I don’t always have the motivation to do such things; nor, am I willing to force the ambition. But some times, my subconscious takes over, and by tweeting, writing, or listening to music, I find I’m able to “work”.
Some times, I like to lurk on twitter. It’s almost like people-watching. I find people use twitter to rant, talk about exciting changes in their lives, share local and/or international news, or promote. So, while I’m lurking, I’m looking for positivity: I click on links to pictures, music, and news; but I never respond. It can be difficult at times to start up a conversation, let alone, maintain it.
When I do start to tweet, I usually start with a status update, or I will respond to something I know enough about to keep the conversation. I almost always tweet the celebrities I follow, knowing that I probably won’t get a response but still hoping I will. I also use twitter in the same way everyone else does. Why not, and especially when I know that engaging with others or simply sharing my thoughts will give me the energy to do the basic things that need to be done.
Most recently, I’ve learned the value of ranting on twitter. A friend of mine convinced me that was one very important part of social networking. It’s a way of letting people see the authentic you and see that you’re not always perfect. Some of the people I follow were using twitter to rant, but then they would get upset when no one responded. If you’re getting upset every time you get on twitter, why should people respond? There needs to be a balance, and fortunately, I was already balancing my tweets: engaging in conversations, retweeting relevant tweets, and promoting myself.
Staying active on twitter even when I didn’t want to sound needy was the best energy-giving activity I could give myself!
I could listen to music any time of the day regardless of my mood; yet I’ve found that I gain the greatest amount of energy when I’m alone and able to escape into the shuffle all of my music player. I don’t discriminate: I love all genres of music, and it only takes meaningful lyrics and a good melody to get me hooked.
I find I can use music to lull me to sleep, express my feelings when I am unable, wake me up, get me excited, and make me feel like dancing. No wonder I find music to be my magic potion!
Despite the fact I find writing to be my greatest passion, I find it difficult to maintain the activity when I’ve lost all my motivation. I suppose it’s the perfectionist in me that’s afraid of writing meaningless babble. Yet, when I find a writing project, such as Reverb11, and I have even the smallest amount of motivation, writing on any topic increases my energy level to the point where I not only am able to accomplish basic tasks, but also rediscover my passion and have to continue writing.
When I don’t engage in any of the above three energy-giving activities, it is only obvious that any energy I might have drains. It can be difficult to remember that I need energy when I am ruminating on issues which have caused and now maintain my depression, but in order to heal, I need to maintain my energy, knowing this too shall pass.